Self care and self love are very popular topics being talked about today. There is a difference between them though. When I ask friends or clients whether they are taking care of themselves, they often say “yes, all the time”. They respond with things like; I have a relaxing bath at night, I go for a monthly massage, I work out,going to bed early  and  eat healthy. While all these things are great self care practices they only cover what you are doing for yourself physically.

Self care helps us feel renewed, to de-stress and calms us down. It is the act of taking care of ourselves physically.Self love means cultivating gratitude and acceptance towards yourself emotionally.It can include positive self talk,throwing away the scale,taking time to feell good in your own skin.Both are needed and self care is included in self love but self love is about inclusion of the whole person mind, body, and spirit.

To learn to love oursleves emotionally there are 7 things we can do to achieve this.


1.Being present: you need to be present to the feelings in your body, not just your mind. Emotions can cause all kinds of issues in our body.  Being present to the feelings in our body helps us to learn to recognize what are needs are.Our body let’s us know when we need to attend to our feelings with love and attention. If we ignore those signals and can lead to such things as headaches, constipation, insomnia, stomach upset or back pain to name a few. Being present to what our body is saying is key to learning to love ourselves. 


2.Detox your feed: Social media has become toxic when it makes us feel less than we really are. We compare ourselves to others all the time and then feel like shit when we think we should be or want to be just like them. Delete and social media account that makes you feel less then you are. Same with friendships and relationships of any kind. If someone doesn’t make you feel confident, brave, beautiful or worthy you need to delete them out of your life. 


3.Feel the feelings: I have talked about this before and because it is so important to learning to love yourself I’m doing it again. We can start to love ourselves when we move towards our feelings not away from them. We need to sit in the discomfort and feel our feelings especially when we don’t want to in order to get thorugh them.When we ignore how we are feeling we start to feel alone, rejected, judged or abandoned rather than compassionately embracing the feelings and being open to learning about what they truly are trying to teach us.


4.Be mindful of your patterns: We are our own worse critic. The negative self talk that we tell ourselves would be damaging to anyone we said them too so why would we say them to ourselves! We need to start being more gentle with ourselves and more kind. Stop it before it starts.Your thoughts aren’t always your reality.Your thoughts can be influenced by your mood and can be scewed. We need ot learn to talk to ourselves in a more gentle way.For example:”I can’t stand this” becomes, “This is challenging.” “I hate…” becomes, “I don’t like…” and even, “I don’t prefer…” When your self-talk uses more gentle language, much of its negative power is muted as well.


5.Find a spiriual connection: We can’t manage painful emotions by ourselves. The painful feelings are present because we have aloud ourselves to focus on them in our head, we judge ourselves, we numb our feelings with junk food, booze or drugs. We then make others responsiblity for the way we feel. Listen to these feelings.They are letting us know that we aren’t being our authentic selves.This sprirtual connection can come from within us and give us the power to not feel so alone. The key is to pay attention.


6.Define your worth and set up boundaries.When we make others approval responsible for the way we feel and whether we are okay or not, we abandon ourselves. We must learn to set up boundaries so we no longer need others approval and get to a place where what people think of you doesn’t matter at all.When you really start to see yourself then you can let go of trying to get love and attention form others to define your worth,  you will get love from yourself.


7.Use reminders of why you should love yourself.Dress in a way that makes you feel beautiful and confident.Dress in a way that makes you feel like yourself. Loving yourself means you take loving action. Put up post it notes wiht loving meassges to yourself. Put them where you can see them everyday.Physically- self care. Emotionally- self love. Spirtually-meditation and prayer. 

We are all on this journey together. You are loved and you can love yourself too.

What are you doing for yourself emotionally? Share in the comments below